Ashley Mills

‘Confidence in Christ’


I first heard about Jesus and who he really was when I was fourteen.  It was all thanks to my form tutor at the time.  He knew that I was having trouble with other students and making bad decisions so he offered me a way out.  Initially I thought it was him just letting me use his classroom during lunch breaks but it wasn’t until then next day’s lunch when I found out he wanted me to get to "know a guy" and that person was Jesus.  After a year of going to these lunch-break meetups, which were called the Christian Union, I came to call myself a Christian.  I wanted to know more about Jesus and how and why he came to die (answers I’ve came to understand the past couple of years)


After I left school and started working I didn’t think about God or Jesus, in fact quite the oppesite.  I started drinking heavily and smoking a lot more than I used to. I was even swearing at pointless things and I became quite aggressive towards everyone.  I was like this for many years until one day whilst cleaning my room a found the Bible that I’d been given by one of the members of the CU.  It got me thinking of how I used to be although I was bullied alot at school when I was younger I was happy, friendly and some people actually liked me.  It was then I realised that something was missing.  It was God.  God was the one that was missing in my life but I didn’t know how to get him in my life because I’d grown so distant with all my friends.  I was lost so I prayed and prayed for God to show me the way.  And, after months of nothing, I slowly began to give up praying.  But something happened a week later that completely changed me.  I met a girl called Becky.  She was the answer to my prayers.  I’d asked God to help me get close to him like I used to be when I was fourteen.  He showed me a way to do it through Becky - my very own guardian angel.  She took me along to her church where she and her family went to and introduced me to many new people some of which made an impact on me.  All thanks to God I met Becky who has made a big impact on my life.  She gave me the will power to stop smoking and later became my wife and the mother of our two children.


I was encouraged by her to go on the Alpha course which for me was a great experience.  We talked about a great deal of things from - who Jesus was all the way to the Holy Spirit.  It’s something that will stay with me for a very long time, if not forever.  I met some great people during the course from those who served us food to the ones running the course and the ones who were, like me, just attending wanting to learn more about God and Jesus some of whom are a part of the same post-Alpha home group that I’m in.


What impacted me the most during Alpha was when we went for our Alpha Away Day at Hothorpe Hall.  It was a great fun-filled day for me with talks, food, walks around the lovely grounds and even a few games of table tennis.  But the one thing that made this day ‘super special’ was when the day was over before we left we had a long time of prayer.  I prayed and I prayed hard that God would forgive me for all the wrongs that I’d done.  It was then that I felt rather uneasy, my head was on and off spinning, and it felt like something or someone was standing over me with their hand on my shoulder.  But no-one was there.  I felt happy - the happiest I’d been with my relationship with God.  It was at that point that I knew what I needed to do.  I knew that God had forgiven me like he’s forgiven everyone of their sins.  There was just one thing that held me back.  I had confidence to speak to people about my faith in Jesus but I didn’t have the confidence for much more. 


After months of waiting for a sign from God the opportunity came and with this new found confidence I’m here today to show you that no matter how far of your own path, however low you go, God will always be there.  You just need to listen to what he’s telling you.


Ashley Mills

2nd July 2017